Anxiety: Should the Goal be Zero Anxiety?
However, this anxiety, as much as you hate it, could play a really important role in your life.
Anxiety can contain really important information about the beauty of who you are as a person, and it can motivate you to behave in really positive ways.
It can show you are a deeply caring person with high standards who values relationships, work ethic, security, and a high level of morals and sense of justice.
It can show a form of self-love... keeping your self and those you care about safe and prepare you for worst-case scenarios, motivating you to fight for your values
A lot of folks have the goal to eliminate anxiety completely. This is admirable, but misguided.
The problem is not that anxiety enters your system, it is how we react to it when it hits us... and hit us it will!
The truth is... anxiety is going to enter your system. For hundreds of thousands of years, anxiety has kept us safe from the dangers of this world. Without it, we would not be on this planet. Imagine walking through the jungle... a hungry lion is standing right in front of you... staring at you and licking his lips... and you get NO anxiety! Yeeesh...
The goal is not to shut it out. We need to curious and compassionate towards this vital emotion.
The energy should be put into how we respond to anxiety once it comes in. You CAN get to a place where you work with it rather than against it.
Should the goal be to get to zero anxiety?
This is such an important question, and can have a huge impact on your mental health. Anxiety can be a positive force in our lives.
There is no denying that anxiety can be such a destructive force. It can paralyze us from making decisions, take us away from enjoyable present moments, stop us from performing at our full potential, cause us sleepless nights, make us irritable and tense, cause us to make shitty short-term decisions, and can even have serious physical health effects.
It can take up so much space in our heads and bodies, and completely f*ck up the present... being so focused on the future.
How do I know if Anxiety
is a Problem in my Life?
It is so important to pay attention to the impact it has on your life.
If, for example, you get nervous before an exam, you study hard and when the test comes, your head is clear and you do well. This is good and healthy anxiety! This is the level of anxiety that is important in your life, and it should not be eliminated.
However, if you have a test; you get nervous; you cannot sleep; you have stomach issues (or knots); you have thoughts bouncing around your head; you cannot study; you engage in unproductive distraction behaviour… and when the test comes, you can’t focus or remember anything, resulting in you not performing well. This level of anxiety is holding you back. You don’t want to get to zero anxiety, but you do want to get it to a lower level that can help you, rather than hinder you.
Anxiety can impact everything in your life… work, relationships, school, social life. The goal is not to have zero anxiety, but we also don’t want it to be at one hundred.
Anxiety: Readings and Videos
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris - this book is not about anxiety specifically but it’s a great book that teaches us not to struggle against our emotions… any of them!
If you don’t have time to read the whole book, check this out:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-28U1q83ec
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by Dr. Burns - this is not a book specifically about anxiety, but anxiety can live in our heads and this book gives a good base on how to work with thoughts that are making us anxious.
If you don’t got the time, check out this podcast:
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4psAfYrh3wTuePxcnRX8Cb?si=mKPOD862Qc-iYqFftWZ_fQ
How to Control your Anxiety Before it Controls You by Dr. Albert Ellis - a great book that gives you a real ‘simple’ way to understand how to combat anxiety… a great acronym: ABCDE!