Men and their Mental Health
Men and their Mental Health
“Men have shame… deep shame but when we reach out and tell our stories, we get the emotional shit beat out of us. My wife… my daughters… even most my friends would rather me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall off.”
“Our singular, suffocating expectation is we cannot be perceived as weak. The perception of weakness is often very shaming.”
“They say ‘be afraid’. They say ‘share your vulnerability’. ‘Open up’.
However, the truth is they cannot stomach it. The truth is that when I am very vulnerable, when I am in fear, when I am angry when I talk about it, it can permanently change the dynamics of our relationship.”
‘I want you to be open… I want there to be intimacy, but I don’t want you to go there.’
“Show me someone who can sit with a man in real vulnerability, in deep fear, and be with him in it, I will show you someone who has done their work and does not derive their power from that man”.
Men and their Mental Health: Readings and Videos
I Don't Want to Talk about It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
by Terry Real - a seminal work on men and their mental health, it is a book that absolutely should be read to gain a deeper understanding of what struggles connected to men looks like and why.
https://youtu.be/86YWT2VZniQ?si=YB2TERvaHRIGmAdh
Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It
by Richard V. Reeves - there is an absolute crisis among men… suicide, addiction, lonliness, education rates and so on, and men need support. This book truly exemplifies this.
https://youtu.be/Xmw_1wfUmFs?si=KGfoSM0YGdSWW1W3
Notes on Being a Man
by Scott Galloway - he is advocating for structural and societal change to support men as if this were any other group that was struggling, keeping in mind that this is not a zero sum game where others have to be put down for men to rise up. Fighting against more harmful ideas of masculinity, Scott Galloway exemplifies what it is to be a man in today’s world.
https://youtu.be/KftDeejeZzg?si=tZAcwQ0Qol0unuNl
Man’s Search for Meaning
by Viktor E. Frankl - not specifically about men but about how we can shoulder so much in our lives… if we have a reason to.
https://youtu.be/SVhuCpgLCTE?si=BbKDHLYao11Tks41
Man’s Search for Himself
by Rollo May - building on Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, it gives more practical ways to discover and find purpose in this world.
https://youtu.be/U8ixjk8pEMY?si=qZt6uBu_mizJkIvK
Men and their mental health struggles can look different.
‘I don’t want to talk about it,’ ‘I’m angry all the time,’ ’I drink, snort, pop, inject, or smoke to cope,’ ’I can carry it all on my own,’ ’Fuck it… I don’t need anyone or anything. Why did I do/say that… AGAIN?!’
These are ways that our struggles can reveal themselves. A struggling man can work every day, smile to his family and/or friends, and put up a front when a storm is going on inside.
“What is the fucking point in complaining… nothing will change and no one will take care of me.” Outside, we are calm, but on the inside, there is a ticking time bomb.
The world is tough for men; they are not getting the help they need. Suicide, depression, addiction, divorce, homelessness, and being estranged from their families and friends can all be devastating consequences of this.
We need someone who will listen, who is not afraid of our anger or power, and who can suggest ways to improve our lives.
Labeling Young Men as Toxis is Harmful
